Marriage is stressful. So is life and money troubles just make
everything worse. That's why in times of economic crisis, more and more
relationships come under stress. Indeed financial stress is often cited
as the number one reason why couples divorce.
But divorce is not inevitable and there are things that you do to stop your financial worries from damaging your relationship too much. Here are five tips to help.
1. Talk Together
It is good to talk but women in particular will avoid talking about money troubles if they think the additional stress will cause an argument. However, talking about money stress is the only way to tackle it. But find the right time to do it.
Do not try to start the conversation when one of you is in a rush. Instead wait for a quiet moment, perhaps during a meal out together, when you can both chat without the kids butting in. Once you have explained your fears and admitted you are worried, you will feel more relaxed. After all "A problem shared is a problem halved". And you can only start to address your financial problems when you both understand the size of the problem.
2. Do Not Lay Blame
It is human nature to try to lay blame for a problem. Maybe you have lost your job? Or your partner was frivolous with a purchase you did not think was necessary? Whatever the reason for your troubles, placing blame will not make matters better, only worse. Find a way to discuss your money worries objectively without blaming anyone for them.
3. Get Help
Sometimes it is easier to get help with your money worries from people outside the marriage. You could ask a close friend to help if they are experienced in financial matters, although many people prefer the unfamiliar impartiality of a credit counselor. Whomever you choose, a third party often sees solutions and alternatives to problems that you would not see on your own.
4. Work Together
When you have money stress in your marriage, it is very important you work through it together. This is not saying you should both be involved in all tasks equally; it is probably a good idea for you each to take on different roles or tasks. But it is not a good idea for one person to be in the dark about what is going on whilst the other takes on all the work to solve the problem. This will only lead to anger and resentment and more marital stress!
5. Keep Money Issues Separate
Money issues are everywhere in daily life, but do not lose sight of the relationship inside your marriage. Do not let your financial stress come between you. Try meeting together once a week, fortnightly or monthly, specifically to discuss finances. And at all other times, focus on other issues. This will mean you also get some "time off" to enjoy being together as a couple and as a family, even during the times when you do have money worries.
Remember you can choose to pull together or pull apart in times of financial stress. If you work together and decide to pull together, you will emerge from your money worries with your marriage even stronger than before. Money worries are stressful but they do not inevitably lead to divorce.
But divorce is not inevitable and there are things that you do to stop your financial worries from damaging your relationship too much. Here are five tips to help.
1. Talk Together
It is good to talk but women in particular will avoid talking about money troubles if they think the additional stress will cause an argument. However, talking about money stress is the only way to tackle it. But find the right time to do it.
Do not try to start the conversation when one of you is in a rush. Instead wait for a quiet moment, perhaps during a meal out together, when you can both chat without the kids butting in. Once you have explained your fears and admitted you are worried, you will feel more relaxed. After all "A problem shared is a problem halved". And you can only start to address your financial problems when you both understand the size of the problem.
2. Do Not Lay Blame
It is human nature to try to lay blame for a problem. Maybe you have lost your job? Or your partner was frivolous with a purchase you did not think was necessary? Whatever the reason for your troubles, placing blame will not make matters better, only worse. Find a way to discuss your money worries objectively without blaming anyone for them.
3. Get Help
Sometimes it is easier to get help with your money worries from people outside the marriage. You could ask a close friend to help if they are experienced in financial matters, although many people prefer the unfamiliar impartiality of a credit counselor. Whomever you choose, a third party often sees solutions and alternatives to problems that you would not see on your own.
4. Work Together
When you have money stress in your marriage, it is very important you work through it together. This is not saying you should both be involved in all tasks equally; it is probably a good idea for you each to take on different roles or tasks. But it is not a good idea for one person to be in the dark about what is going on whilst the other takes on all the work to solve the problem. This will only lead to anger and resentment and more marital stress!
5. Keep Money Issues Separate
Money issues are everywhere in daily life, but do not lose sight of the relationship inside your marriage. Do not let your financial stress come between you. Try meeting together once a week, fortnightly or monthly, specifically to discuss finances. And at all other times, focus on other issues. This will mean you also get some "time off" to enjoy being together as a couple and as a family, even during the times when you do have money worries.
Remember you can choose to pull together or pull apart in times of financial stress. If you work together and decide to pull together, you will emerge from your money worries with your marriage even stronger than before. Money worries are stressful but they do not inevitably lead to divorce.
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