Wednesday, 29 May 2013

Marriage & Love

Most people think that love and marriage have the same origin and imply the same motives as far as human needs are concerned. According to scholars, this is not the fact but just a notion and marriage is built over a period of time. Loving someone and being loved brings happiness but it does not necessarily mean that when a man and a woman are in love they will end up in marriage.
Marriage recognizes the relationship between a man and a woman in which the self realization of each partner becomes a priority for each other. Marriage gives the two, husband and wife the framework for mutual love and self-giving to each other. Marriage is the pillar on which romantic love is build. Accordingly, the love and friendship that exists between a woman and a man grows into a desire for marriage. Marriage thus acts as the foundation for the couple to grow into a union of soul and heart. In a marriage, children become the bond of the marriage and are its fruits. (Love, marriage and family).
Marriage is defined as "a formal union between a man and a woman in which they become a husband and wife respectively." Love is defined as "a strong positive emotion of attraction and affection towards a person."  Thus from their definitions the two are not related but antagonistic to each other but that is not to say that some marriages have resulted from love. This is because love can easily assert itself in marriage and can completely outgrow a convention. Some marriages of late are not held together by love, but rather by public opinion, thus the husband and wife submit to it because of fear of negative publicity. It is also true that some marriages are sustained by love and it continues in married life but, love does so regardless of marriage and not because of it. (Anarchy archives).
On the other hand, scholars argue that love does not result from marriage. It is very rare to find a married couple falling in love after marriage but some argue that a couple has to adjust to fall in love when already in a union to avoid the inventible. Growing together as a couple and getting used to each other, the intensity and beauty of love increases intimacy of a marriage otherwise the intimacy of that marriage may prove to be degrading for both the parties involved; husband and wife. (Anarchy archives).
Marriage is likened to an economic arrangement which is like an insurance agreement with minimal returns. The difference of marriage and the insurance pact is that marriage is more binding and exacting with very small returns when compared to investments. But for the case of marriage, if a woman's insurance premium is the husband, then she has to pay that with her liberty, privacy, self-respect and her own life till death do them apart. Marriage will definitely condemn her to parasitic kind of life, life-long dependency on the husband. The husband also pays his toll; he is chained on the economic front. (Anarchy archives).
A scholar, Edward Carpenter, alludes that "behind every marriage stands the life-long environment of the two sexes" living in a very different environment that the two will remain strangers. He further alleges that the two are separated by a wall of superstition, different customs, believes and habits that marriage has the potential to develop knowledge of and respect for the husband and wife that without which the union is likely to fail. (Anarchy archives).  

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