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Monday, 27 May 2013
Arrange Marriage v/s Love Marriage
Marriage is an institution that is considered successful, if, it lasts lifelong. There are different customs and traditions that are followed in different societal set-ups. In Indian society, arranged marriages are known to exist since ages. The structure of the Indian society is built up in such a way that first preference is given to the family values and the individual's choice follows after. Respect towards elders and the conservative mind set paves the way for arranged marriages. Women are generally restricted to the boundaries of homes environ and are prohibited to move independently in the society. Therefore, it becomes almost impossible for them to search a groom on their own. Otherwise also, girl's consent is not considered compulsory in orthodox society. Even the young boys are also expected to mutely follow the decision taken by elders related to their marriage.
On the other hand Love marriages are considered more of as western influence. Though, the concept is now acceptable in the modern societal set ups but it is still not embraced heartedly in rural parts of the country. Love marriage is more acceptable and comprehensible to the modern generation. It helps the duo to know each other well, before taking the crucial decision of life. But independence covets highest degree of responsibility also. On one hand, love marriages grants the opportunity to choose the partner but the responsibility of choosing the right person is also laid on the shoulders of the couple only. In arranged marriages, the burden and responsibility of choosing the right person is shared by elders of the family. Hence, in times of need family stand by and help to resolve any conflict or crisis situation. Any such cover or support is generally missing in love marriage.
When the two unknown individuals come together to tie the nuptial knots, they don't have any expectations from each other. Knowing and understanding each other takes a significant duration of time. And during this period they learn to compromise and accept each other as they are. But in case of love marriage there are higher expectations from both the sides. Though, the couple does possess an advantage of knowing each other but the circumstances and responsibilities change after marriage. Many couples find it hard to adapt to the changing scenario and expect the things to move in the same direction as they were before marriage. This is one of the main reasons that later lead to unjustified and unreasonable demands put up by both the sides.
Though, surviving an arranged marriage is even tougher. In love marriage, the two individuals can easily sail through tough times if they have real faith in each other. They are well aware about the qualities and shortcomings of each other. Hence, can easily predict and control the behaviour. In arranged marriages, any such advantage is missing. Most of the times, it is the newly-wed bride who has to suffer the most. And ultimately the relationship suffers.
There are no sure shot rules for a successful marriage. Neither are there any set methods that guarantee 100% success rate. Yet the debate about whether arrange marriage or love marriage is better than the other will last for times to come. The modern Indian society is in a state of transition. New customs are embraced by the youth readily but the age old customs and family values are still a priority in our society. Therefore, a new genre of love cum arranged marriages has emerged, which is a perfect blend of the two worlds