Factors that add
to your MARITAL SUCCESS…
Most couples enter into marriage expecting to
succeed. They look at the divorce statistics and believe those figures won't
apply to them. And yet, somewhere between 40 and 50 percent of those marrying
today will become part of the statistics.
Why do marriages fail? What contributes to success
in marriage? For couples embarking on marriage, and for those already married,
there are several important factors shown by research to make a difference.
Even before the marriage begins, several
factors influence a couple's chances for success. Some are under the couple's
control; others are not.
1. Parent's Marriage: If a couple's parents
were happily married, the couple is more likely to be happily married and less
likely to divorce. Of course, many individuals whose parents divorced are able
to establish happy marriages, but the odds favor those with happily married
parents.
2. Childhood: An individual who had a happy,
"normal" childhood is more likely to be successful in marriage.
3. Length of Acquaintance: Generally, the
longer the acquaintance, the more likely the marriage will be successful. Those
who have known each other over one year have better odds than those with acquaintanceship less than a year.
4. Age: In general, those who are older when
married have more stable marriages. For example, those who marry at 20 years or
older have marriages that last twice as long as those who marry under age 20.
5. Parental Approval: Parental approval is
related to marriage success for two reasons: 1) approving parents are more
supportive, and 2) disapproving parents may be seeing real problems that will
create difficulties for the couple.
6. Reasons for Marriage: Marriages begun
because of genuine understanding and caring have better success than those
started for the "wrong reasons," such as getting away from home,
rebellion, or wanting to be "grown up."
Once a couple is married, additional factors
tend to influence their likelihood of marital success.
1. Attitudes: A democratic attitude, where
both seek to cooperate and compromise is most functional.
2. In-laws: Especially if couples live close
to parents, getting along with in-laws is important.
3. Common Interests: Couples with shared
interests are more likely to participate in activities together and develop
greater understanding and empathy for each other.
4. Do Opposites Attract? In general, the more similar
a couple's background in terms of education, religion, nationality, and social
status, the better.
5. Children: Children strengthen an already
strong marriage, but may only "hold together" a poor one.
6. Communication: Happily married couples tend
to: (a) talk to each other more often, (b) are more sensitive to each other's
feelings, and (c) use non-verbal communication more effectively.
7. Roles: Similar expectations of work roles,
housework roles, and spouse roles are one of the most important factors in
marriage. If both spouses are traditional, that works wonderfully - as it does
if both are more contemporary. The greatest conflicts occur when wives are more
contemporary than husbands in what they consider the "right" roles
for husbands and wives.
8. Personality: Obviously, the personality of
the individuals involved is one of the most crucial factors. Traits such as
emotional stability, self-control, affection, responsibility, favorable
self-perception, and optimism are correlated with good marriage adjustment.
9. Religious Participation: Religiosity and
marital success are related, regardless of denomination, as has been
demonstrated consistently in studies over many years.
There are many factors related to background,
upbringing, or circumstances that tend to be in a couple's favor for having a
successful marriage. Many couples will not have all of these factors in their
favor and will still have successful marriages. Some with the odds in their
favor will fail, nevertheless. Part of the difference lies in the extent to
which couples take care of their marriage. Every marriage needs thought and
effort to improve.
Ultramatrimony.com lets you find your perfect life partner.
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