ULTRA MATRIMONY

Marriage in the Hindus has a religious sanctity. Marriage among the Muslims is more of a social rather than religious contract. The Christians clearly recognize need and necessity of marriage. The key to successful marriage is love, understanding, mutual respect, trust, commitment and togetherness. Problems in marriage are bound to come because two individuals having different personalities meet.

Many people argue that love marriages offer more independence and freedom as compared to arranged marriages. It is not at all true. People have started condemning marriage. Live-in relationship is a term used in place of marriage in modem society. But this thing does not belong to our culture. Let us hope that future generations respect the sanctity of marriage.

Marriage is an institution which admits men and women to family life.

It is a stable relationship in which man and a woman are socially permitted to have children implying the right to sexual relations. In India marriage is considered something very sacred’. It is said that marriages are made in heaven and celebrated on earth. It is believed that it is a special bond shared between two souls, who tie the wedding knot after promising to be the companions for a life time.

It is physical, mental and spiritual union of two souls. It also plays a crucial role in transferring the culture and civilization from one generation to the other, through the legitimate procreation process. The institution of marriage is beneficial to the society as a whole, because it is the foundation of the family, which in turn is the fundamental building block of the society. While the concept of marriage remains the same across the globe, the way of solemnizing it differs extensively.

Different laws have been formulated to legalize the ceremony, which proves to be animportant turning point in one’s life. Apart from the marriage, the rituals performed during the marriage ceremony are completely different from each other. Marriage, apart from being a legalized way of uniting two people, has a lot of social significance. This is primarily because in India marriage has been considered a way to bring the families of two individual closer. In India, marriages are celebrated like religious festivals.

A number of rituals and customs are performed before and after marriage. Every religion has different customs for marriage. Marriage in Hindus has a religious sanctity’. Once a marriage takes place, it is difficult to break matrimonial bonds. Marriage and children are considered essential for Moksha among the Hindus. Marriage among the Muslims is both social and religious contract, which is legalized after Nikah.

But it is considered more a social rather than a religious institution. The Christians clearly recognize need and necessity of marriage. Christian marriage takes place for having good family life and for maintaining family relations and ties and for enjoying the benefits of mutual cooperation which family life is bound to bring with it. Earlier it was said that marriage is a bond which takes place, between two families and not two individuals.

But in modem society, this concept is fading fast. In modern western society marriage is the concern of the would be spouses. It is of no concern to the kinship group. The married couples, immediately after marriage, or a little later, establish new household. But in India, the situation is quite different. Here after the marriage, the bride comes to her in-laws house and has to accept or adopt the new house as her own ‘real’ home. In metropolitan cities, the scene is changing among the professionals.

Usually the modem couples prefer to live separately away from their parents after their marriage free from any interference from any side. The key to a successful marriage is love, understanding, mutual respect, trust, commitment and togetherness. While many couples are able to find all the key ingredients in their marital relationships, others find one element or more lacking in their bond.

This is a reason why a number of couples face adverse consequences, like divorce. Lack of trust, mutual respect, love and understanding contribute to the deterioration of the bond. Life is not a bed of roses; things do not work as smoothly as we expect them to. Marriage is no exception. Problems in marriage are bound to come because two individuals have different personalities.

In such conditions, clashes are bound to take place. In such circumstances, people often change ways, make compromises, negotiate with the proceedings or sometimes, just stand stubbornly and let things fall apart. Because of immature attitude and impatience, many people fail to keep the sparkle of married life alive. There are a number of problems that a couple might face, right from sexual problems, to in-laws, to even financial troubles. Some couples face communication gap.

They do not talk to each other and fail to make their points clear, misunderstanding occurs and clashes happen. Conflict with in-laws is also a major problem, a couple may face. After marriage, many couples face problems related to money. They start blaming each other for the lack of financial stability. Marriage problems tend to rise after initial phase of marriage, probably in response to family obligations’ including raising children, caring for elderly parents and the like.

Many people argue that love marriages offer more independence and freedom ascompared to arranged marriages. Knowing somebody before marriage allows partners to have better respect and understanding for each other’s needs and desires. This way they are better adjusted in the marriage when they finally take their wedding vows. But not all love marriages have happy ending.

Meeting someone and living with someone has a world of difference. Before love marriage two persons meet each other, in these meeting they get to know each other, but not each and every quality comes to the fore. They idealize each other but after marriage all virtues and vices come to the fore front and clashes start. Marriage, as an institution, is now coming under heavy strains. In many cases the people do not think of marrying due to personal as well as other reasons.

A decade ago, urban India was a different place. People married for various reasons. Some married for love, others to unite two families, some for social security, others for convenience or children or sex. But in 21st century India, ‘urban singles’ seemingly have everything. They have social security in the form of well paid jobs, hectic social lives and plenty of friends. These ‘singles’ do not believe in institution of marriage.

They say that one can get a dog or cat if one wants companionship. Friends can provide you companionship. One can go for a live-in relationship” for companionship. People who believe in live-in-relationship argue that in this relationship one can get to know each and every thing of one’s partner. If two persons are compatible to each other they can enter into a serious relationship or marriage and if they are not, they can be separated.

These people say that reports indicate that the rate of divorce is getting higher nowadays. Live-in- relationship is best way to avoid divorce as in this relationship people are not bound to live together all their lives. Live-in-relationship does not belong to our culture. Marriage gives a kind of assurance which, a live-in relationship cannot.

A live-in-relationship looks attractive but is usually conditional while marriage gives you a certain kind of security. There is no doubt that there are misunderstandings, disputes, disagreement, etc. in married life but it does not mean that marriage is useless. Nobody can live all his life all alone. At the end of the day everyone needs someone. Everybody feels good to love and to be loved.

The institution of marriage is changing with our changing social values. New values replace the old ones. Let us hope that the future generations will respect the sanctity of the institution of marriage and not be lured’ by western culture.